Top secret negotiating tactic

The problem with your negotiations - your attempts to sell products, services, consulting, promotions, hostage negotiations, or anything else - is that you have it backwards.

You lead every negotiation with what you want.

One more time for those way in the back not paying attention.

You lead every single negotiation with what you want.

“Boss, I want more money.”

“Prospect, I want you to sign by end of quarter.”

“Bad guy, I want you to release the hostages.”

Ah, yes.

The first part of the top secret negotiating tactic.

No one cares what you want.

They care what you’ll give for what they want.

A negotiation is an exchange where two parties trade what they view as fair, reasonable, and interesting.

A negotiation will always require at least two parties.

One side doesn’t agree, you have no negotiation.

This sounds obvious, but is it?

This is my northstar for every negotiation.

Understanding what the other person wants.

Let’s dig into my very abrasive, pointed, slightly sarcastic examples that resonated with each of you earlier.

Number 1:

“Boss, I want more money.”

Your boss doesn’t want to pay you more money. Ever. No boss on this planet actually wants to pay you a penny more than you’ll accept.

Don’t get mad. It’s a good thing. It leaves money on the table for those willing to negotiate.

What your boss does want is something in exchange for more money.

Do they want more sales? A specific logo? Has anyone asked them?

If you want more money, you must find out what they can’t get on their own.

What do they need you to do?

And how much is it worth to them?

Read it again.

What do they need and how much is it worth?

An exchange.

A negotiation.

Number 2:

“Prospect, I want you to sign by end of quarter.”

Your prospect doesn’t care that you’re behind budget or going on a PIP if you don’t close them by the end of the month.

Your prospect doesn’t care that your CEO wants this logo badly.

Your prospect doesn’t care about anything but….

The problem they want someone to solve.

So the exchange becomes...

Problem the prospect wants solved, in exchange for a contract on some date.

We’re negotiating the scope of the problem against our wants.

Number 3:

“Bad guy, I want you to release the hostages.”

I’ve been fascinated by true high-stakes negotiations since I was young. I’ve always thought it was interesting seeing people negotiate life or death with the most dangerous people on this planet.

No negotiation is higher-stakes.

Some people just want to watch the world burn. They don’t want anything other than pure suffering.

I’ve talked to ex-military, FBI, detectives and they all said thats rare.

Most criminals want something.

Immunity. Money. Freedom. Life on the run. Family member released from prison.

They want something bad so they take the highest leverage possible.

Life.

At the end of the day, it’s still an exchange.

Do you understand what the bad person wants? Do you know why? Do you know what happens if they don’t get it? Do you know when they want it by? Do you know how long have they wanted it?

Can you make an exchange, a compromise in the middle?

Get what they want in exchange for the safe release of another person’s life?

The secret tactic

You’ve read this long. Want the tactic?

Here it is.

Do you understand everything about the person you’re negotiating with?

The problems they want solved, how big those problems are, and how badly they need to solve them?

Can anyone else solve them? Or can only you?

The best negotiators don’t have a magic wand.

They know more about the other side than the other side knows about themselves.

They push, pull, and press buttons.

They ask questions to understand why the other side is asking for what they want.

They’re asking not to hit quota.

They are asking so they can solve the other person’s problem perfectly.

In exchange...

For whatever they want.

Negotiation tactic in a single sentence.

You can win any negotiation in life if you help the other person get exactly what they want.

Weekly Challenge

Let’s negotiate better.

Let’s raise the stakes.

Put all your deals in your pipeline on paper.

Answer these four questions:

1. What does the prospect want?

2. Why do they want it?

3. By when?

4. And what happens if they don’t get it?

Now, for raised stakes.

Would you bet the person’s life you love the most that you scored a 100% on the test?

That every question you answered the prospect would agree?

If not?

Reply to this email “negotiation”

I’ll reply back with a calendar invitation for a 15-minute conversation.

Take a slot.

Ask me a question.

Until next week,

Chris