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Would you rather win or be liked?
Communication techniques designed to win even for those that need to be liked.
Christopher Rocas
July 23, 2024 • Read Time: 6 minutes
Resending today’s newsletter. I was told the Youtube embed didn’t work.
This version has a link directly to the video to watch.
I can't give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.
So, reader. Which is it? Would you rather be liked or would you rather win?
“But Chris…Can’t you do both?”
“That wasn’t the question.”
I bet most of you thought that instantly.
Winning and being liked aren’t mutually exclusive.
I’m not here to tell you that you’re right or wrong.
I’m here to tell you that it’s impacting you.
Earlier today, I talked to a rep that will be great one day. They aren’t quite there yet.
They are still figuring out how to let go of their emotions and be more direct.
To the point.
Speak in facts.
Not worry about who wants to get drinks with them versus who wants to o rder from them.
As they said, “I need to stop with the fluff.”
I asked them “Ever seen the firing scene from Moneyball? Where Brad Pitt shows Jonah Hill how to fire someone?”
“Nope.”
This is a masterclass in direct communication.
The communication your prospects need.
The communication style you need to learn to join the top 1%.
Video Analysis
From 0:40 to 1:50, you watch Jonah Hill role-play firing someone.
He starts by saying, “You’ve been a huge part of this team, and sometimes you have to make decisions that are best for the team, I’m sure you can understand that.”
Can you feel Jonah Hill’s character needing approval?
He’s firing someone and rationalizing that he’s been a huge part of the team and has to make a hard decision.
It feels disingenuous, slimy, and weak. It comes from a low position and will lose respect from anyone you act this way with.
What happens next? A bunch of objections.
“My kid just started at a new school and made friends. I just bought a house. What about my kids? What the hell are you talking about?”
At 1:35, Brad Pitt gives incredible advice.
“They are professional ball players. Be straight with them. No fluff. Just facts.”
“Pete, I’ve got to let you go. Jack’s office will handle the details.”
Feel the difference?
One person needed to be liked.
One person didn’t.
How does this relate to sales?
Let’s take a real-life negotiation scenario and relate it to the scene you just watched.
“You’re more expensive than the competition. What can we do?”
Jonah Hill’s character who needs to be liked will put on a dog and pony show.
“I understand we seem more expensive. And I don’t expect you to overpay. What did you expect it to cost? What were you hoping for? Have you run an analysis on [insert buzz word feature benefit]?
How would Brad Pitt’s character or a 1%’er handle it?
“Are we done?”
One character is taking all the pressure, trying not to upset their prospect (for various reasons) and giving 100% power to the prospect.
The 1%’er. Direct. No fluff. Putting the pressure where it belongs.
“Are we done?”
9/10 times the answer starts with “Well, I wouldn’t say done but…”
The long run-on sentences aren’t about giving more information. It’s about being liked.
Softening words.
Making the prospect feel okay.
Not rocking the boat.
That makes you appear weak.
What happens to weak salespeople in a negotiation?
Objection handling. Discounts.
Telling your boss “ABC company wants a 20% discount.”
You look like someone who can’t close.
You know what that does to your bank account? Drops it by 20%.
You deserve better. Your loved ones deserve better.
Getting Ghosted Example
There’s infinite examples your need to be liked kills your ability to win.
I asked ChatGPT about the most common salespeople questions.
Sadly one of the top responses was, “how to avoid getting ghosted?”
I pulled a response from a popular sales blog.
You as a salesperson (and human) deserve respect.
Ghosting someone is unacceptable.
This email is sent by thousands of salespeople because they don’t want to upset their prospect.
They don’t want to “rock the boat.”
They give fluff.
“Is it buried in your inbox?”
Equivalent to...
“You’ve been a huge part of this team, and sometimes you have to make decisions that are best for the team. I’m sure you can understand that.”
How does a 1%’er respond...
“Joe?”
“Are we done?”
“You don’t seem like the person that ghosts another professional?”
Do you think these are aggressive?
They aren’t.
They are direct, to the point, no fluff, and eliciting responses.
Growth mindset vs scarcity mindset.
A winner.
Versus someone who wants to be liked.
Weekly Challenge
Today’s challenge is about prioritizing winning over being liked.
Everyone on this email has softened a message in the last 2 weeks because they want to be liked.
This week, we won’t fix it, but we’ll bring it top of mind.
List out your top 10 prospects (if you don’t have 10, list out all your prospects and then go prospecting).
Column B, you are writing out a question that is seemed as aggressive, assertive, or direct that you need to ask but haven’t yet.
Column C, you are writing out the reason you haven’t asked it.
Column D, you are writing out the date you are going to ask
Column E, you are writing out how you think the prospect will answer.
Column F, you are writing out how they actually answered.
Until next week,
Chris
PS - There’s hundreds of you who still haven’t booked a 15 minute call. An offer to have any sales question answered by someone who’s trained the best salespeople of the 21st century. And another who’s made millions in sales.
I only have one question.
Why?
As Rick says..
I never charge for the first consultation. Nor the second, if you're real. A third may not be necessary.