Kidnap the kidnapper

I grew up (and still dream of) being an FBI negotiator.

Take down the biggest, baddest criminals in the world.

I’ve always been obsessed with high-stakes negotiations. I’m embarrassed to call “negotiating sales deals” high-stakes but here we are.

I’ve had one high-stakes negotiation in my life.

It was for my life.

If you’ve followed me, you know I used to be a professional poker player. It’s an industry filled with some of the baddest people I’ve met.

I had a friend in for $100k+ with a bookie who was really sick of waiting for his money. Without getting into the details, his life was threatened, so I decided to go pay the debt.

Hindsight, my first mistake, but it taught me a lesson.)

That led to having a gun in my mouth. True story.

I showed up to pay the debt and “Mr. Bookie” thought it was a good idea to threaten someone he never met, who came to pay a debt he didn’t owe.

Mr. Bookie was clearly a genius (can you feel the sarcasm).

I showed up without the money, but had it ready. Needed to finalize terms.

Told him [insert my friend who is no longer named here] was a buddy, I bought up all his debts and was here to pay it off.

Mr. Bookie didn’t like two pieces.

1. Someone bought the debts and he really wanted to inflict pain on my friend.

2. He hated that I didn’t have the money.

I’ll never forget this moment till the day I die.

Gun in mouth. Stared him in the eyes. At this point I had nothing to lose. No family. My brother wasn’t in my life and I hadn’t met my future wife.

If this shit was it, it was it.

He pulled out the gun, waving it like in the movies. Tough guy.

“Do you want the fucking money, or you want me dead, which is it?”

“Fucking all of it,” said Mr. Bookie.

You see I showed up not looking to pay off all the debts. That’s how it worked. What was the bookie going to do, call the cops? He was breaking the law.

I offered to pay a portion of it.

Negotiated.

$100k on $150k debt.

He fought me and fought me on it.

“You get $100k or $0k. Dealer’s choice,” I said.

“I need it all.”

Looking back 15 years later, that’s when I flipped him.

I “kidnapped the kidnapper.”

Who was holding whom hostage?

I had no fear. I didn’t NEED to pay those debts.

He needed the money.

You see, I heard the word “all.” There was something.

Why not accept $100k from a willing payer instead of $0k from someone who won’t?

Little did I know, he was taking bets and placing bets with a bookie that was a lot meaner, bigger, and badder than him.

And now he owed that guy money. That guy wasn’t interested in any bullshit and if I had to guess, probably in jail now.

Mr. Bookie told me all of this.

That he was in deep. That he never expected to be betting hundreds of thousands of dollars a week. That this all exploded from small dorm room bets with friends.

Who was solving whose problem?

Fast forward so I can turn this into a sales lesson.

I made a deal with the bookie that day.

“$100k. You never take another call from my friend. You never threaten him again. Everyone goes their separate ways. Otherwise I walk out the door and you are $150k in the hole instead of $50k. Your call.”

He took the deal. I never heard from him again. My friend paid me back a year later. I never asked how he got the money or for interest. And he’s no longer a friend.

The Sales Lesson

Who’s holding who hostage in your negotiations?

What happens if you lose the deal versus what happens if the prospect’s problems aren’t solved?

Who has a bigger problem, you or the prospect?

Can anyone but you solve the problem?

Can you make it so that you solve it in a unique way?

Who has who kidnapped?

Salespeople act as if the prospect holds all the power.

The prospect has the problem.

You have the solution.

Who holds more power in that relationship?

Some of you are turned off by “hostage,” “kidnapped,” “power.”

I use these words intentionally.

Think about what being in sales means, being an entrepreneur.

Getting money or not getting money is everything.

If you don’t perform, you lose your job.

This impacts you, your spouse, your kids, your mental health.

Sales is serious.

Egos are real.

I decided long ago that no one will ever hold power over me.

I’ll never be held “hostage.”

Not by a prospect or an employer.

Neither should you.

Weekly Challenge

Keeping this tight.

1. Put all of your deals down on paper.

2. Column 2. “Who needs who more?”

3. Column 3. “What happens to them if they don’t work with me?”

4. Column 4 “What happens to me if I don’t work with them?”

5. “Who’s kidnapped?”

6. “How do I kidnap the kidnapper?”

Until next week,

Chris